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An unexplained fondness of balloons. Never really questioned it. Drawn to it just like a child would be.

I had always wanted to have one. I’d bring it home, tie it somewhere, and just watch it float. Sometimes, I’d tie it around my wrist or hold the string between my fingers as I walk about the house. There are times when I would let it go, but only within the confines of the house so I can easily retrieve it.

But then there are memories of seeing balloons float away. Out of my reach, gone forever. I remember the feeling of loss. I had never wanted to see the balloon go.

That’s probably why I had stopped bringing them home. I had taught myself to ignore them, however strong the desire is. I had hardened myself to it. What is the use of wanting something if it’s not going to last?

But in remembering these things, I’ve found wisdom.

Like balloons, wishes and dreams have enchanted me. As a child, I had wished for certain things to be a part of my life. I held on to dreams with fervor, relishing in their presence, never wanting to let go. But we all know that nothing in this world lasts, right?

I had failed to realise that bit of wisdom in time. With all the disappointments, I had chosen to ignore my dreams; the wishes of a child. My life thus changed.

Life without dreams is an empty life that much I’ve realised.

If I still have all the balloons I’ve ever had then my life would be filled with unnecessary clutter. How can I move freely? Will I have enough room for other balloons to enter my life?

Isn’t it the nature of the balloon to float and fly? Isn’t it more beautiful to see it being carried off by the wind, floating up towards the sky? A child would believe that it will reach the clouds, reach places one can only dream of reaching. Wouldn’t that be a better way of perceiving things?

The lesson of learning to let go of wishes and dreams is something I’m taking with me; from this memory of my balloons.

I’d rather be living even when it means a million times I have to let go. I choose to believe as a child would. Find joy in dreaming, believe without flinching, and let go like I now know how.

Dreams, like balloons, can be found in the most ordinary of places. I just have to keep expecting.

I’ll bring home a balloon again and will be happy to see it go; let it be carried off by the wind simply because I know it will be as it should be and everything will be all right.

I’m grateful for a life filled with second chances.

Trivia: Top photo taken outside the Basilica de Santo Niño, Cebu City; May 2007. Bottom photo taken in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam; February 2008.

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