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A year ago —
I lost two men I had loved most.
I was broken.
I got left behind.

Distractions made forgetting easy but, today, I choose to remember. Simply because I need to never forget that good memories last forever. I need them to shine like how a small candle would brighten up an entire room.

And because, today, I choose to breathe.

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Breathe (2am) - Anna Nalick Play Now | Play in Popup

Watching her walk down the aisle, unexplainable bittersweet happiness flowed through my system. Sweetness, from the memory of her love story. Bitterness, from the thought that it had resonated a failed one.

But comedy trumps tragedy.

Tears flow from unlikely eyes. Floods the smile. Suppressing the urge to laugh because of the overflowing joy felt. Strange contrast.

I cried, blubbered like any normal girl would.

Is marriage truly overrated, much less crying in weddings? One will never fully understand till they find themselves wishing they had something to help wipe away the tears that threaten to ruin their makeup. The strangeness is surreal. But memory serves it vivid and rich with epiphanies.

I reckon you will never, though try if you must, suppress what’s truly inside.

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Day Before Yesterday - Scout Play Now | Play in Popup

Cold wind caresses my face; I refuse to turn away. My mind had seen what my eyes had not. I hold on to my heart and let it do what it does best. My hands can only obey.

In swiftness, in haste.
What is there to see?
Quickly, quickly —
Do things make sense?

Emotion champions over reason. I loved and loved deeply. You touch my thoughts in fragments, in bursts. Do I? Should I? Why would I? But I’m left with just this memory of having loved you deeply.

In swiftness, in haste.
What is left to see?
Quickly, quickly —
Will anything ever make sense?

Landslide - Smashing Pumpkins Play Now | Play in Popup

Trivia: Pine trees, clouds and the blue sky. Taken whilst in transit on the winding roads leading to Camp John Hay in Baguio, Philippines; May 2009.